A behind the scene of my first exchange program abroad – UGRAD (a spoiler)

Point of View: I walk you down my memory of this journey.

Fall beauty.

Sunset in front of the library.

Apply now! Find more information about UGRAD here.

As your local writer, I don’t think I can let this experience slide unwritten. As you may have or haven’t known already, I went on a semester exchange program to the United States through the Global Undergraduate Exchange Program (UGRAD), funded by the department of states. I was lucky enough to be hosted by the Presbyterian College – a loving small community in Clinton, South Carolina. This is me trying to put the experience that changed my life forever into words which I believe is nowhere close to what I’m about to describe, but I’ll give it my best try.

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7 Stages of the Ride (A Spoiler)

I have identified and sectioned my exchange program experience into 7 stages. Seat belt on, please enjoy the ride.

Stage 1: The Excitement and Anxiety

“Studying abroad feels like you’re the main character in a movie.” And maybe it is, or maybe it’s not. The idea of being an international student abroad can’t help, but make me fantasize that this experience will be like what I see in the movies. I started dancing with joy after receiving the news that I have been selected. I kept thinking of the independence, the new people, the exploration and the moments, I started counting days until my departure.

With great excitement, comes great anxiety. There is a bunch of what-if questions along the way like what if I missed my flights, what if I got lost, what if I didn’t catch up with the studies, or what if I couldn’t make friends. Other than that, I also worried whether I could get used to living in a dorm as a community and whether a semester is enough to experience the United States. So, here’s your reminder, always remember that presence is best being lived, not asked or worried.

Stage 2: The Familiarizing Phase

After arriving, I have had my fair share taking time to adapt and adjust to the new yet temporary life. I definitely knew those lifestyles through movies and books, but living them was a completely different thing. Getting used to the timezone was the first challenge which I overcame after just a week. Living in a community takes a lot of understanding, consideration, and respect. We live in a shared space including dorm (with a roommate or suitemates), gym, laundry room and dining hall. I started to really like the fast food buffet style of the dining hall in my first month. Meeting new people and introducing myself, my culture and my story were amusing. It is rare that we get to build a new character of ourselves to be perceived, there’s no judgement from your past.

Stage 3: The Mixed-Feeling

At times, it felt great and other times, it felt lonely. I felt homesick, too. I started getting tired of the food. Classes started to be difficult to catch up. The examples raised in class were never been heard. It was getting more difficult to blend in or to start a conversation because I was clueless about what’s going on. Things were gloomy for a couple of weeks. But I hung on tight and asked for help from my friends, my professors and my host family.

Luckily, I got by those dark times quickly with the constant support from my surroundings. I thrived hard; the good thing was I was on time to the train that led me to the brighter side of my stay. The rest of my time was well-spent with the people who cherished me. I ate out a few times in a week. My professors were more patient towards me. I was able to finish the semester with a 3.92 GPA and made it on the dean’s list like many other exchange students who worked hard enough to deserve it.

Stage 4: My clock is ticking

Having gotten used to everything, I was able to laugh and to have so much fun with the people I have come to know. There is no doubt that you will have a group of people you enjoy spending time with whether it is international students group or American students group. But let me tell you one big mistake I made, I counted the days I had left before having to come back home instead of making the days counted as cliche as it may sound. As an experienced exchange student, it’s safe for me to tell you that it’s a waste of time. Your moment is now, not when you have to come back home. You have the rest of your life reminiscing these moments in the US, but you need to create those moments now – and counting days is not part of the plan.

Stage 5: The Attachment

In just a few months, the bondness grew unexpectedly as I found myself enjoying and feeling comfortable in my own skin. The school, the community, and the people have become so familiar to me. I know all the routes and places. I could walk from the dining area to my dorm with my eyes closed, that was how familiar it was to me. During this process, I finally understood the new saying that goes “You still haven’t met all the people you’re going to love yet”. This is very personal, it is something I hold dearly to my heart, but I want you to hear it. I once had this conversation with Mrs. Lynn Downie – my host family that I started to feel sad because once I got back, it felt as if I have left a part of my heart here, and it would never be full again. She has instead told me something I will remember for a long time; she said “I don’t think a part of your heart is left here, you’ll always carry it with you, but your heart grows bigger from all the love you’ve given and received from all the places you have been to.”

Stage 6: The Wrap-Up

I had three free days before departing after my final week. Those three days were spent with my sister, host family, close friends, and a lot of walking around the campus; my heart was full of love to every single thing there. It was incredibly difficult to fathom how I could leave behind the things I love so much. Long before I knew it, I had to push my feeling aside and start packing. I missed saying so many goodbyes, but it actually felt lighter on the heart. If I’d said all the goodbyes I should’ve, it’d be so much more heartbreaking coming back. But, no, don’t leave silently. Say “goodbye” and “see you again” – the important ones. Find your closure. Love can live in distance, too.

Stage 7: The Aftermath

After a two-days flight, home was calling me. I’ve never been away from home and my family this long. I was distracted for no more than two days by the reunion of Reaksmey and her usual days at home. After that, it started to hit me. My exchange program has ended, it’s crazy how everything felt like a dream though I know it had happened so beautifully. I fully claimed my life back going to work and finishing school two weeks after my arrival. Things began to fall into place as I started counting all the things I’m most grateful for during these past four months.

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The Growth & Key Takeaways:

It took me a long time to process these four months and identify what I have learned from everyone and everything; for that reason, I genuinely think that a reflection is very important after an exchange program. These are the changes I have noticed about myself. The love I have grows bigger. I have learnt to love and to interact better, because the people I have met through this program speak different languages, have different backgrounds and have completely different cultures. I have learnt to be kinder, to be more considerate, and to communicate more rather than leaving things in the dark. I have spent a good bit of time visiting my galleries, spacing out to relive the moments, and reflecting what I have learned.

The world is big, and I’m small, and my mistakes shall be forgiven and forgotten. Go out there, make mistakes, be accountable for it, learn from your mistakes, and make things right. Do things out of your ordinary, but all at your safety as a priority. While this exchange program is for the purpose of growth, it also feels like a mini getaway and a self exploration. Where and when will you get to watch the stars while having deep conversation with your friends at 2am? Where and when will you be able to sleep on the grass while waiting for the sun to rise at 5:30am? Sometimes, you’ll only enjoy and get to do them a few times at a certain stage of your life.

I also notice that I’ve become more resilient and prone to changes when it comes to my life plan. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to have a life master plan breaking down of the things I have to accomplish in 5 years. Still, I’m one who has certain expectation of my timeline. Pursuing this exchange program costed me a year late of BA graduation as I had to take a year break to maintain a flow in my academic journey. However, I have challenged myself to be more flexible through this change. I have achieved my first batch of dreams, and the price of time was worth it.

My future plan has become more visible after this program; pursuing MA program will always be a dream of mine. Living independently is tough, but I will not be completely new to my next journey. Now that I have been exposed to new cultures and new places in advance, I am equipped with tools for my future preparation. Not only that, choosing my destination is also more convenient now that I am familiar with international courses program outside of Cambodia.

The application for UGRAD is now opening from November 1, 2022 to December 15, 2022. You may seek advice on how to apply for UGRAD from so many alumni, I am one of them. Don’t hesitate to say hi and shoot your questions. If allowed, I wish to write another article on my UGRAD application journey as a guide soon (Not a promise).

I’m so sorry it took me so long to finally share with you my fruitful experience of four months living in the States as an international college student, but I have experienced all sorts of emotions in such a short period of time and putting everything in a compact 10 paragraphs complex is truly a challenge. With or without this experience sharing of mine, you would have to go through similar experience – such an experience could be easier, more excited, and all, but this is a glimpse of what studying alone abroad would look like. It is not all about living alone, enjoying life and traveling places alone. It is also about leaving a pit of bits of your heart in different places, leaving a huge yet compact part of your life in one place while carrying back only the memories. It is what I signed up for in exchange for personal growth and life-experience as a young adult who is still trying to figure out my life. With all that said, I would never change this personal experience of mine for the world. All the growth and memories truly outweighed all the hardship. I promise that the experience you have through this program would for sure be a significant push for your growth, and a memory you cherish for a lifetime. It has been exactly a year since I came back, but I still remember every event and every detail like they just happened yesterday. No matter how hard it is, go through it all, be an exchange student once.

You can only start dreaming after you start your application today. The rest will follow and unfold itself after you submit your application. With careful preparation and hard work, dream often comes true. Good luck.

Apply now! Find more information about UGRAD here.

P.S.: A huge shout-out to the U.S. department of state (for funding the program), the U.S. embassy (for facilitating the program), the Cultural Affairs team (Bong Mardi especially who made the whole process so convenient and easy), and the World Learning team (Susan and Sarah, my supervisors, who have been very helpful from the beginning to the end). I owe you big and will spend most of my time sharing the experience forward to push the community’s growth.

To the people I have met at Presbyterian College and the community, I am indeed very far away, but I often find myself thinking about you from time to time, calculating the time to guess what you are up to, and wondering how you have been doing since I left. My experience would never be the same without you all, I’ve missed you a lot. If my exchange program experience was a movie, the people I have come to know through this journey are for sure the best part, always.

Love,

Reaksmey/Julie ♡

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.‧₊⊹˚Special Edition by the Author .•°

Aside from personal, academic and professional growth, I am grateful to have lived the dream of a fan girl. I have always been a big fan of many American movies and songs, and being there gave me just that. I was able to visit the places those movies and songs portrayed like Before We Go in New York and Dear John in Charleston, South Carolina and the list goes on. More importantly, what Lana Del Rey never forgets to address in her lyrics, all “the American Dream” is felt. The most special part was being able to meet my sister who parted from me to start her new journey with her soulmate on the same day I had UGRAD interview. Visiting her on a weekly basis has done magic to my entire stay, and I’ve missed her dearly. Until next time.